muscle & bones

my physiotherapist has a kind voice and strong hands. in her office, the walls are painted a jaundice yellow, and filled with objects that look like toys. next to them are machines spewing wires and paw-like pads. i fear them the most. she tells me these ultrasound waves and electrical pulses will help my muscles and bones. but each time i am strapped up in these machines, i discover a new world of pain. apparently the pain is good for me. it is a sign that my body is rebuilding itself. next door is a clinic called oasis of hope, where people with cancer and other irrevocable diseases sit on cream sofas. how often do they think about death? do they feel their bodies dissolving with each minute, like candles burning their last?